


Private Moments

by CmonCmon



Series: Raising Warriors [13]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: About Karking Time, Clone Mom and Clone Dad, Domino Feels, F/M, Healthy Adult Conversation, M/M, Rancor Feels, Soft Wars, Star Wars AU - Soft Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26093635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CmonCmon/pseuds/CmonCmon
Summary: As the party comes to an end, Shaak shares a private moment with her commander.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Colt (Star Wars)/Shaak Ti
Series: Raising Warriors [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835518
Comments: 37
Kudos: 300
Collections: Open Source Soft Wars





	Private Moments

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/gifts), [Primarybufferpanel (ArwenLune)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenLune/gifts).



> Continuous, in a way, with [Quality Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26034727).
> 
> Go read Project0506's [Soft Wars](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683775) series.
> 
> As always, thanks to PrimaryBufferPanel and Jac (with the secret AO3) for being the best betas!

A party full of soldiers mostly still recovering from battle and their Generals and Commanders ready to resume the war was not meant to last too long. Shaak had planned to leave before they all got too deep into the evening, but saying her own goodbyes were difficult. She could see Obi-Wan and Skywalker on the occasional trip to the Temple when they were called back for a meeting, but those visits rarely had this kind of leisure. 

Shaak said her goodnights to the two Jedi, thanked 99 again for all that he’d done to protect his brothers, and took a moment to playfully remind the Rancor men not to stay up too late. Fives and Echo caught her before she could withdraw.

“Sir, before you go. We--” Fives looked over to Echo and started again. “We never had the chance to thank you.” 

“For believing in us.” Echo nodded. “You were right and Domino is better together. Stronger together.”

The struggle of the cadet squad was impossible to forget, but seeing the five of them now, with their armor paint and tattoos, together and united, was more than enough reward.

“There is no need for thanks, but I believed in Domino Squad, and I still do.” Maybe it was the drink, or the thought of never having a quiet moment with these troopers again, Shaak pressed kisses that could only be described as motherly on their cheeks. In the next moment, the other three members of the squad appeared.

“No fair if they get one and we don’t, sir.” Hevy gave her his best akk puppy-eyes. 

“That is true.” Shaak gave the others the same, but the pleased looks on their faces left her feeling foolish. Certainly she cared about all of her cadets, but the room felt breathless. She had clearly become far too familiar.

“Get moving troopers. Make your company jealous with that.” Colt used what Shaak had come to consider his  _ Commander voice _ and sent Domino squad scurrying off giggling like cadets.

“Are you leaving, sir?” Colt was all but at attention waiting for her answer.

“Yes, it’s gotten late and I’m sure you and your brothers would appreciate the time together.” Without your commanding officers in the room, Shaak didn’t add.

“Actually, sir. I was about to head out myself.” Colt glanced back at his brothers for a moment. “This is more excitement than I’ve had in a few days.”

Shaak was fairly sure he wasn’t telling her the whole story, but he was correct that he wasn’t fully recovered. It was obvious in the way he moved and the shadows around his eyes. Even his scent was wrong, but Shaak was the only one with the biology to notice that. 

“Then you should rest,” Shaak agreed, and part of her wondered if she could joke about a goodnight kiss. 

“I could walk you back.” 

Her rooms were not quite on the way to medical, but he was alive and in one piece and Shaak had been so worried. “I would appreciate the company.”

Colt fell in beside her, and soon enough, it was just the two of them walking the featureless but familiar halls. After so much noise and cheer, the quiet and grey was both welcome and oppressive.

“It’s strange to think we were just fighting here.” Colt’s thoughts must have moved similarly. This was the closest thing they both had to a home at the moment.

“It is.” Shaak agreed. “Have you made peace with it? The attack?”

Colt walked in silence beside her, his thinking-frown in place. His gait was slower than his usual, and Shaak matched it. She did not press for an answer. He didn’t have to share his thoughts with her. Seeing her fellow Jedi with their own men only reminded how much familiarity she had simply assumed with Colt. 

“I think I have.” Colt’s voice brought her back to the moment. “We had plans prepared. We assessed the risks correctly. Without the arrival of additional troops, we would have needed our fallback plan - move the Alphas as an offensive force, press the oldest cadets to defend the barracks.” He stopped walking and rubbed at his eyes, and she stopped beside him. “I am very glad it didn’t come to that. But… The plan was sound, the men were brave, and we were lucky to have so few wounded.”

“Lucky,” Shaak repeated as she brushed her fingers over the simple shirt, over where she knew he still required a bacta patch on the injury. He could have died.

Colt smiled at her, a little, grateful thing. “I’m the least of it.”

“Not to me.”

The words fell to the floor in the middle of an empty hallway between them, dropped on the duracrete at their feet, but Shaak didn’t have it in her to take them back. It may not be what he wanted to hear, but she needed to say it.

“Sir.” Colt’s voice was rough. “We should get you to your quarters.”

“Of course, Commander.” Shaak did not regret telling him the truth, but it was too much for him. She knew better than to add to the burdens he carried.

She did manage to keep her thoughts to herself for the walk to her door. Shaak had never asked how Colt had come about this particular habit of walking her back, but she enjoyed the quiet moments, side by side.

“May I come in?” 

There was no ‘sir’ attached, which was so rare from Colt. Shaak tapped the passcode and tried to keep her worry down. “Please.”

As usual, he only entered far enough to allow her to move into the room past him, like she might have found him standing in the middle of her front room a trespass. 

He looked tired, but not unwell. There had been no rumbles of discontent after the battle. Maybe it was that meeting scheduled with Commander Cody? Was this about the kiss? Shaak could guess all she wanted, but there were easier ways to find out what this was about. “What’s wrong, Colt?” 

He was all but at attention again. Jaw tight, frown in place. “Permission to speak freely, sir?”

“Granted.” She was worried now, but unsure of what to do beyond wait for him to end the suspense.

“Sir, Cody and I spoke while I was laid up, and…” Colt scrubbed at his hair. “We talked about your Code and the… and all the reasons a Jedi is a General and a CC is a Commander and what that relationship has to look like.”

The Jedi Code, the one Shaak had never brought up to Colt. 

“I understand that there are rules in place for the right reason, but that does not change how I feel.” Colt’s expression hardened further if that was even possible. “We haven’t talked about what happened in medical, but I do know how I feel about you and I am not here to ask for any kind of attachment.” 

He didn’t soften. Colt simply cracked, all efforts at stony and indifferent gone, eyes warm and wanting. “I hope you know how much I respect and admire you as my General, but if you ever wanted something else. Something more. Something outside of our ranks, I want that too. No explanations or demands. No promises. No attachments.”

Shaak wasn’t sure there were appropriate words. So many parts of what he’d finally told her required careful handling. That he’d asked about the Code. That Commander Cody had information on the subject. That Colt would offer himself. To her. 

“Colt, what you’re suggesting--” Was very much what Shaak had allowed herself with her fellow Jedi. But with her own Commander, who she saw every day? Who was not a Jedi, and had every right to be attached? To expect attachment from a partner?

“I understand if you aren’t interested.” He was resolute the same way he was when he thought she was angry. “I’m sorry to bother you with this, sir. I hope this won’t affect our working relationship.” It sounded rehearsed, like he had prepared that answer to be available at any moment.

“Colt. Please.” She moved herself between him and the door. “I did not say I wasn’t interested.”

He waited, wary.

“I already owe you one apology. I should not have kissed you. I am sorry. It was inappropriate.” Shaak should have said that days earlier because it was true. “I was controlled by my emotions. You were  _ wounded _ . And  _ drugged _ .”

“I have no complaints, sir. Other than not being in a condition to fully appreciate it,” Colt tried to joke, but it was strained to both their ears.

“That does not excuse it.” 

“Sir,” he didn’t-agree for the sake of politeness, but he clearly didn’t feel it was necessary. She knew he’d never let momentary emotions get in the way of their working relationship. 

Shaak should let him go back to medical. Or his bunk. Let him go, and she should meditate until she could respond properly. Like a Jedi should. 

But he was still watching her, like she was a battlefield map and he was weighing victory against defeat. Colt had been so brave. Taken this risk. Taken the risk Shaak hadn’t, and told herself it was for his sake. 

“Colt.” She caught his hand in hers.

He was projecting again. All that warmth and hope and self-directed frustration. “Sir.”

She shook her head.

“Shaak.” He said her name like an exhale, like a prayer. 

“Thank you for trusting me with this.” She brought his hand up and pressed a kiss on his knuckles. “An agreement like the one you’re suggesting wouldn’t be fair to you.”

That tugged his frown into a smirk. “I get to decide that for myself.”

“You deserve-”  _ Love _ . “Attachment.” She pressed another kiss on his knuckles. 

That took the smile off his face completely, replaced by that serious, thoughtful look that was almost bordering a scowl. “I’ve learned we can’t count on what we  _ deserve _ , sir. Or count on seeing tomorrow, forget making plans for it. Seen too many good brothers die for no reason. I was close enough to it myself to know I need to tell you these things.”

Shaak wanted him to be loved. To be essential to someone. In all the ways she wasn’t free to do it. “That hardly helps your argument.”

“It was never an argument. I don’t want to convince you to do something you aren’t sure about.” Colt’s free hand came up to brush her cheek. “It’s an offer. You can accept, or refuse, or tell me to ask again tomorrow, but the offer stands.” His hand left her cheek, only to reach for her free hand and press it to his own cheek, her fingers to his temple. “See for yourself.”

He was right, it wasn’t an argument. Shaak didn’t believe for a moment that he was trying to hide anything from her. But the thought of feeling him in the Force, feeling this decision between them in the Force was too much to refuse. She let her eyes slip shut and lowered her defenses and felt him.

And between them, the Force  _ sang. _

“Colt.” She didn’t open her eyes, though she felt his spike of  _ worry  _ mixing through the warmth of  _ respect _ and  _ admiration _ and the heated threads of  _ want _ . Without more than the barest thought, she reassured the worry. She was well, just surprised. He squeezed her hand that was still caught in his.  _ Contentment _ flowed through his emotions, at the proximity, the contact. At her touch.

He put up no defenses, so unlike the man everyone knew Commander Colt to be.

She brought herself back to her own mind with a sigh.

“Believe me?” He was breathless, that little pleased smile on his face.

“I never doubted you.” She wasn’t any less breathless. To be in someone else’s mind was an intimate act. Shaak eased herself a step away from him, even if everything about her wanted closer. “I accept.”

The words felt too large, too full of possible misstep. But she had felt it in the Force, known it in her own mind. 

The smile on his face was bright, toothy. Almost boyish. “I’m… pleased.”

“I cannot tell you what happens next or how we move forward.” She couldn’t just take him to bed. That wasn’t even the offer. 

His smile widened. “I wouldn’t refuse a kiss goodnight.”

That drew a laugh out of her. Shaak closed the inches between them and pressed a kiss on his lips, still chaste, but a kiss far less motherly than the ones she’d given Domino. She pulled back, grinning, all fangs. “Goodnight Colt.”

He returned the grin. “Goodnight Shaak.”

**Author's Note:**

> Healthy Adult Conversation had to happen at some point!
> 
> Also, thank you Cody for talking this through in a more sympathetic matter (No offense Bly, but Cody's relationship with Obi-Wan are a lot more like Colt and Shaak's than Bly's is with Aayla)


End file.
